Overreaction?
One night, I was having dinner with my parents.
While I was finishing up, my father looked at my plate and said something like, "You left some bits on the plate. Finish it up." At that point, something inside me snapped. I stopped eating and stormed out of the dining room. Looking back, my actions seemed unexpected.
Later, my mother asked me what happened. I told her that I was sick and tired of my father telling me how to eat. She said that "that's just the way he is...don't make such a big deal out of it." I then told her that I hate it in general whenever he makes a big deal over such little things. My mother said that he thought that my current eating habits (leaving bits of food on the table) was not the best display of etiquette.
Before I go on, I should explain the relationship between my father and I: We don't have one. We don't hate each other. It's just that my father was never around when I was younger and we hardly ever did anything together. So in a sense, we don't really know each other. But I understand and respect his reasons for doing what he did. I doubt we would have had any fun together anyway, at least not these days.
I am actually around a lot my parents a lot but I hardly ever talk to my father. I was hoping that if I (or a brother or sister) got married and had a kid, I would let him/her spend a lot of time with my parents so that they can pass on their wisdom to him/her.
Anyway, I told my mom that I think it's too late for my father to try to teach me certain things.
I am going to be 30 soon and if my father wanted to play "belated dad", I thought the best thing for him to do was to at least teach me things that are more relevant to my age.
Maybe I overreacted. Perhaps the more prudent option would have been to 1) finish eating the remaining bits and make him feel better, 2) tell him I'd rather not or 3) just ignore him. Its just that in my experience, no one cares if you left bits of food on the plate once you were finished eating. To put it another way, I don't think many people will look down on my eating habits or my personal etiquette. If I was eating with someone and I noticed him/her making sure that she ate every single pea or every kernel of rice, for the most part, I wouldn't think anything of it. But a small part of me would think that this person was extremely anal retentive.
While I was finishing up, my father looked at my plate and said something like, "You left some bits on the plate. Finish it up." At that point, something inside me snapped. I stopped eating and stormed out of the dining room. Looking back, my actions seemed unexpected.
Later, my mother asked me what happened. I told her that I was sick and tired of my father telling me how to eat. She said that "that's just the way he is...don't make such a big deal out of it." I then told her that I hate it in general whenever he makes a big deal over such little things. My mother said that he thought that my current eating habits (leaving bits of food on the table) was not the best display of etiquette.
Before I go on, I should explain the relationship between my father and I: We don't have one. We don't hate each other. It's just that my father was never around when I was younger and we hardly ever did anything together. So in a sense, we don't really know each other. But I understand and respect his reasons for doing what he did. I doubt we would have had any fun together anyway, at least not these days.
I am actually around a lot my parents a lot but I hardly ever talk to my father. I was hoping that if I (or a brother or sister) got married and had a kid, I would let him/her spend a lot of time with my parents so that they can pass on their wisdom to him/her.
Anyway, I told my mom that I think it's too late for my father to try to teach me certain things.
I am going to be 30 soon and if my father wanted to play "belated dad", I thought the best thing for him to do was to at least teach me things that are more relevant to my age.
Maybe I overreacted. Perhaps the more prudent option would have been to 1) finish eating the remaining bits and make him feel better, 2) tell him I'd rather not or 3) just ignore him. Its just that in my experience, no one cares if you left bits of food on the plate once you were finished eating. To put it another way, I don't think many people will look down on my eating habits or my personal etiquette. If I was eating with someone and I noticed him/her making sure that she ate every single pea or every kernel of rice, for the most part, I wouldn't think anything of it. But a small part of me would think that this person was extremely anal retentive.
I think most parents still see their grown-up children as kids (or worse yet, babies), and that's why they still say/do things to correct, or "help" the children do what they think is the best for them.
And yup, that was what my mom told me. I don't know if it's quite true, but that may be what you dad was thinking, too.
Posted by
caffe d'bolla |
1:32 PM